The World According to Josh and Sara

Recently, Josh and I received an e-mail from a viewer who found issue with our discussion about Thomas Beatie, the trans man who is pregnant. (Ep. #128) I decided that I felt the need to respond to his e-mail here so I can clear up any misconceptions other listeners may have had from our discussion. Also, I feel the need to say that I respect the opinions of others and their rights to them, even if I do not agree with them.

Here is the e-mail we received:

“I’m writing in regards to your pre-interview talk about the pregnant ‘man’, that appeared on Oprah and several newspaper front pages. Specifically, your statement about how the world has changed because now a ‘man’ can be pregnant. I’m sorry to inform you, but men still can’t get pregnant. What you have is a woman with male attributes, getting pregnant. I don’t see what the great revolution occurring from these circumstances. Let’s just call a spade a spade and move on.”

I wanted to address this e-mail because I feel that our on-air comments were misconstrued. Obviously, we do not think that men can get pregnant. I just relistened to the show and what Josh was saying, I believe, is that this is the first step to the world accepting the possibility of a pregnant man in the event science is ever able to pull it off. (Personally I don’t think science could ever pull it off, nor do I really think that they should. But that is my opinion and not really the point of this discussion.)

What disturbed me more, was that I got the sense from the above e-mail that the listener felt that we should not be referring to Thomas Beatie as a man, which is really what I came here to address.

I believe that one should always refer to a person by the gender in which they present themselves. If someone is presenting male, I will use male pronouns. If someone is presenting female, I will use female pronouns. Obviously, we are aware of the fact that the trans man who is pregnant was not born a man and therefore is completely capable of getting pregnant. I still feel, though, that we are correct in referring to him as a man and using male pronouns because that is how he is presenting. FTMs, to legally transition, only have to get top surgery, which this man did. But even if he hadn’t, I still would feel compelled to use male pronouns and refer to him as a man because that is how he sees himself and I respect that.

The great thing happening here with Beatie’s pregnancy is that the world is being given the opportunity to be exposed to different ways of life. Having been immersed in the LGBT community in the years I have worked at here! has given me the opportunity to see how fluid life can really be. And if all people are willing to accept this fluidity, we will stop drawing lines between each other. I see no problem in accepting every option of life and family, love and sex as long as it is done with the best of intentions by consenting adults.

I guess the way I hope the world is changing is not in the fact that a “man” can get pregnant, it is changing because a trans man felt he was in a safe enough space where he’d be able to carry to term. That is amazing to me. I am grateful that we have at least moved that far as a society, and I can only hope that open discussions about this situation will make it so that all individuals can feel comfortable living as they wish for themselves and their family.

I am completely open to discussing this with our listeners, so feel free to respond in the comments section below. Or you can write to me directly at podcast@heretv.com.

Thanks,

Sara

I thought it was really sweet how, at the end of the Oscars last night, as Scott Rudin accepted the award for Best Picture, he thanked his partner…and added a ‘honey’ in there to clarify and distinguish him from the business kind.

It’s important, I think, to always remind people of the simple ways a gay committed relationship is just the same as anyone else’s committed relationship. And when you’re standing in front of an untold number of people, accepting Hollywood’s highest honor, you want to thank the person who has stood beside you. So this year’s Oscars didn’t have an overtly gay showing (it was certainly no 2006), but I think that’s good. Sometimes subtlety is stronger than a hammer to the head. And a man should be able to thank his partner for being with him and it should happen in the simple way that it did.

The LGBT community is obviously an ever-present force in Hollywood. And so even though there was no “Brokeback Mountain” or “Transamerica” this year, it doesn’t mean the gays took a break from making films. Members of the community are so entrenched in this star-studded system, you couldn’t swing a cat in L.A. without hitting one.

I loved Scott Rudin’s simple thanks. It wasn’t calculated, it wasn’t activist, it wasn’t said to cause a stir. It was a man winning an Oscar and excitedly thanking the most important person in his life. Congratulations, Scott!

Also, I just want to give a shout-out to Diablo Cody for winning Best Original Screenplay, and to all of the families who love their children just the way they are. Go see Juno!

Sara

As someone who has a degree in Journalism, it’s always sad to see information in print that is incorrect, or worse offensive. This happens quite often, especially when dealing with sensitive stories involving members of the transgender community. I realize that it may be difficult to know off-hand how to properly write about a group of people you aren’t very familiar with, but ignorance should be no excuse for someone responsible for reporting factual news. Even if they do work for a publication like the New York Daily News.

I’m referring to this article, (although apparently they’ve updated the headline) about an MTF individual who was brutally murdered in the Bronx recently. The victim, Sanesha Stewart, was referred to often as “he” and even as “a man dressed as a woman.” I’d like to point out that in my copy of the Associated Press’ Stylebook, it states the following under the entry for “sex changes”:

Use the pronoun preferred by the individuals who have acquired the physical characteristics of the opposite sex or present themselves in a way that does not correspond with their sex at birth. If that preference is not expressed, use the pronoun consistent with the way the individuals live publicly.

See Daily News, it’s not that difficult to figure out if you just take a second to report responsibly. It’s the mishandling of such information that perpetuates bigotry towards the trans community. The pronoun usage was only the beginning of the problems with this article. The original sensationalist headline read “Fooled John Stabbed Bronx Tranny.” Holy Crap! Who approved that? No wonder no one has any respect for the Daily News and they hold it on par with The National Enquirer (or maybe that’s just me.) Regardless, it was a hack journalist who showed up for work that day and wrote an insensitive article about a tragic murder.

GLAAD took the initiative and requested more sensitive coverage. In a follow-up story, the Daily News avoided sensationalism and included interviews with friends and family of the victim, but still described her as a man, and referred to her as Talib, instead of Sanesha. I noticed this in news articles about the Gwen Araujo case. Reporters just could not write about the case without referring to Gwen’s birth name, Edward. And don’t even get me started on the comments left on the Daily News website. It saddens me to read such comments, because it makes me realize just how far we have to go before society will be accepting of people as individuals.

Perhaps the main point I want to make is that, if nothing else, the media should be aware of how to properly discuss situations on which they may not be educated. Attention all media, GLAAD has made things a little bit simpler for you by creating an LGBT stylebook. There is also a stylebook supplement available from the National Lesbian & Gay Journalists Association. These should be in every newsroom in the country. Get a clue NY Daily News, because some people believe your selfish articles are fact, and if that’s the case, perhaps you should start reporting them as such.

Protect your fellow humans. Speak out about bigoted reporting. Newspapers are meant to deliver the news, not someone’s opinion of what passes as news. That’s what the editorial section is for, and you sad Daily News reporter have clearly not made it that far up the newsroom ladder.

(Side note: You can blame Josh for getting me all riled up as our new blog situation is: Josh finds the article, I rant about it.)

Sara