The Pregnant Man
Recently, Josh and I received an e-mail from a viewer who found issue with our discussion about Thomas Beatie, the trans man who is pregnant. (Ep. #128) I decided that I felt the need to respond to his e-mail here so I can clear up any misconceptions other listeners may have had from our discussion. Also, I feel the need to say that I respect the opinions of others and their rights to them, even if I do not agree with them.
Here is the e-mail we received:
“I’m writing in regards to your pre-interview talk about the pregnant ‘man’, that appeared on Oprah and several newspaper front pages. Specifically, your statement about how the world has changed because now a ‘man’ can be pregnant. I’m sorry to inform you, but men still can’t get pregnant. What you have is a woman with male attributes, getting pregnant. I don’t see what the great revolution occurring from these circumstances. Let’s just call a spade a spade and move on.”
I wanted to address this e-mail because I feel that our on-air comments were misconstrued. Obviously, we do not think that men can get pregnant. I just relistened to the show and what Josh was saying, I believe, is that this is the first step to the world accepting the possibility of a pregnant man in the event science is ever able to pull it off. (Personally I don’t think science could ever pull it off, nor do I really think that they should. But that is my opinion and not really the point of this discussion.)
What disturbed me more, was that I got the sense from the above e-mail that the listener felt that we should not be referring to Thomas Beatie as a man, which is really what I came here to address.
I believe that one should always refer to a person by the gender in which they present themselves. If someone is presenting male, I will use male pronouns. If someone is presenting female, I will use female pronouns. Obviously, we are aware of the fact that the trans man who is pregnant was not born a man and therefore is completely capable of getting pregnant. I still feel, though, that we are correct in referring to him as a man and using male pronouns because that is how he is presenting. FTMs, to legally transition, only have to get top surgery, which this man did. But even if he hadn’t, I still would feel compelled to use male pronouns and refer to him as a man because that is how he sees himself and I respect that.
The great thing happening here with Beatie’s pregnancy is that the world is being given the opportunity to be exposed to different ways of life. Having been immersed in the LGBT community in the years I have worked at here! has given me the opportunity to see how fluid life can really be. And if all people are willing to accept this fluidity, we will stop drawing lines between each other. I see no problem in accepting every option of life and family, love and sex as long as it is done with the best of intentions by consenting adults.
I guess the way I hope the world is changing is not in the fact that a “man” can get pregnant, it is changing because a trans man felt he was in a safe enough space where he’d be able to carry to term. That is amazing to me. I am grateful that we have at least moved that far as a society, and I can only hope that open discussions about this situation will make it so that all individuals can feel comfortable living as they wish for themselves and their family.
I am completely open to discussing this with our listeners, so feel free to respond in the comments section below. Or you can write to me directly at podcast@heretv.com.
Thanks,
Sara
