This week’s guest was not who I said it would be in last week’s blog. Instead, we got a last minute chat in with Singer/Actress/Performer Roslyn Kind. She was really sweet and talked to Josh and I about her career over the years as well as some performances she has coming up.  Take a listen.

 I’m not going to tell you exactly who we’ll be posting this week, but you can probably guess.

So take a listen to the podcast here:

And certainly go buy Janine’s book and support LGBT writers.

Speaking of LGBT writers, be sure to tune into the podcast this week when we welcome back one of our favorite out authors, Josh Kilmer-Purcell, who discusses his new book, “Candy Everybody Wants.”

Here is the e-mail we received:

“I’m writing in regards to your pre-interview talk about the pregnant ‘man’, that appeared on Oprah and several newspaper front pages. Specifically, your statement about how the world has changed because now a ‘man’ can be pregnant. I’m sorry to inform you, but men still can’t get pregnant. What you have is a woman with male attributes, getting pregnant. I don’t see what the great revolution occurring from these circumstances. Let’s just call a spade a spade and move on.”

I wanted to address this e-mail because I feel that our on-air comments were misconstrued. Obviously, we do not think that men can get pregnant. I just relistened to the show and what Josh was saying, I believe, is that this is the first step to the world accepting the possibility of a pregnant man in the event science is ever able to pull it off. (Personally I don’t think science could ever pull it off, nor do I really think that they should. But that is my opinion and not really the point of this discussion.)

What disturbed me more, was that I got the sense from the above e-mail that the listener felt that we should not be referring to Thomas Beatie as a man, which is really what I came here to address.

I believe that one should always refer to a person by the gender in which they present themselves. If someone is presenting male, I will use male pronouns. If someone is presenting female, I will use female pronouns. Obviously, we are aware of the fact that the trans man who is pregnant was not born a man and therefore is completely capable of getting pregnant. I still feel, though, that we are correct in referring to him as a man and using male pronouns because that is how he is presenting. FTMs, to legally transition, only have to get top surgery, which this man did. But even if he hadn’t, I still would feel compelled to use male pronouns and refer to him as a man because that is how he sees himself and I respect that.

The great thing happening here with Beatie’s pregnancy is that the world is being given the opportunity to be exposed to different ways of life. Having been immersed in the LGBT community in the years I have worked at here! has given me the opportunity to see how fluid life can really be. And if all people are willing to accept this fluidity, we will stop drawing lines between each other. I see no problem in accepting every option of life and family, love and sex as long as it is done with the best of intentions by consenting adults.

I guess the way I hope the world is changing is not in the fact that a “man” can get pregnant, it is changing because a trans man felt he was in a safe enough space where he’d be able to carry to term. That is amazing to me. I am grateful that we have at least moved that far as a society, and I can only hope that open discussions about this situation will make it so that all individuals can feel comfortable living as they wish for themselves and their family.

I am completely open to discussing this with our listeners, so feel free to respond in the comments section below. Or you can write to me directly at podcast@heretv.com.

Thanks,

Sara

It’s important, I think, to always remind people of the simple ways a gay committed relationship is just the same as anyone else’s committed relationship. And when you’re standing in front of an untold number of people, accepting Hollywood’s highest honor, you want to thank the person who has stood beside you. So this year’s Oscars didn’t have an overtly gay showing (it was certainly no 2006), but I think that’s good. Sometimes subtlety is stronger than a hammer to the head. And a man should be able to thank his partner for being with him and it should happen in the simple way that it did.

The LGBT community is obviously an ever-present force in Hollywood. And so even though there was no “Brokeback Mountain” or “Transamerica” this year, it doesn’t mean the gays took a break from making films. Members of the community are so entrenched in this star-studded system, you couldn’t swing a cat in L.A. without hitting one.

I loved Scott Rudin’s simple thanks. It wasn’t calculated, it wasn’t activist, it wasn’t said to cause a stir. It was a man winning an Oscar and excitedly thanking the most important person in his life. Congratulations, Scott!

Also, I just want to give a shout-out to Diablo Cody for winning Best Original Screenplay, and to all of the families who love their children just the way they are. Go see Juno!

Sara

I’m referring to this article, (although apparently they’ve updated the headline) about an MTF individual who was brutally murdered in the Bronx recently. The victim, Sanesha Stewart, was referred to often as “he” and even as “a man dressed as a woman.” I’d like to point out that in my copy of the Associated Press’ Stylebook, it states the following under the entry for “sex changes”:

Use the pronoun preferred by the individuals who have acquired the physical characteristics of the opposite sex or present themselves in a way that does not correspond with their sex at birth. If that preference is not expressed, use the pronoun consistent with the way the individuals live publicly.

See Daily News, it’s not that difficult to figure out if you just take a second to report responsibly. It’s the mishandling of such information that perpetuates bigotry towards the trans community. The pronoun usage was only the beginning of the problems with this article. The original sensationalist headline read “Fooled John Stabbed Bronx Tranny.” Holy Crap! Who approved that? No wonder no one has any respect for the Daily News and they hold it on par with The National Enquirer (or maybe that’s just me.) Regardless, it was a hack journalist who showed up for work that day and wrote an insensitive article about a tragic murder.

GLAAD took the initiative and requested more sensitive coverage. In a follow-up story, the Daily News avoided sensationalism and included interviews with friends and family of the victim, but still described her as a man, and referred to her as Talib, instead of Sanesha. I noticed this in news articles about the Gwen Araujo case. Reporters just could not write about the case without referring to Gwen’s birth name, Edward. And don’t even get me started on the comments left on the Daily News website. It saddens me to read such comments, because it makes me realize just how far we have to go before society will be accepting of people as individuals.

Perhaps the main point I want to make is that, if nothing else, the media should be aware of how to properly discuss situations on which they may not be educated. Attention all media, GLAAD has made things a little bit simpler for you by creating an LGBT stylebook. There is also a stylebook supplement available from the National Lesbian & Gay Journalists Association. These should be in every newsroom in the country. Get a clue NY Daily News, because some people believe your selfish articles are fact, and if that’s the case, perhaps you should start reporting them as such.

Protect your fellow humans. Speak out about bigoted reporting. Newspapers are meant to deliver the news, not someone’s opinion of what passes as news. That’s what the editorial section is for, and you sad Daily News reporter have clearly not made it that far up the newsroom ladder.

(Side note: You can blame Josh for getting me all riled up as our new blog situation is: Josh finds the article, I rant about it.)

Sara

Josh and I recently read an article about how the ACLU is helping a student sue her school in Florida because the school feels that students who support gay rights are part of an “illegal organization.” Really? No, really?

Schools are supposed to offer students a safe space to grow into mature, responsible individuals, but we all know that isn’t what actually happens. Oftentimes, teachers and administrators will thrust their own opinions on students and stifle their personal expression, and it’s no different with gays and their straight allies.

Apparently, this all started because a student felt threatened by hostile remarks from other students because she is a lesbian. Instead of dealing with the fact that this student felt victimized, the school decided to blame the victim and punish with censorship. What a way to teach acceptance and individuality!

I get that the Florida school system is trying to say that discussing gay rights is a “disruption,” and that opening up the floor to such discourse could be problematic. But in the long run, the more it’s not discussed, the less likely it is that we can move forward and make progress with such issues.

I know…I know…I’m preaching to the choir. Well, choir, get out there and support these students any way you can. You can find out more information on the ACLU’s lawsuit here.

For more information on other work the ACLU is doing for the LGBT community, visit their website.

I am here for the Sundance Film Festival 08. And it is off to a glorious and glamorous start.  I went to the Opening Night Gala-  The film In Bruges starring Colin Farell and written and directed by Martin McDonagh was a funny, gruesome wild ride of a movie.  Typical of McDonagh– fast-paced dialogue, violence mixed with humor and whacked out characters, the film was indeed a thrill.  And Farrell and McDonagh (both gorgeous men) were on hand to intro the film. 

Sundance seems even more electric this year…and certainly more crowded.  I wonder if this is due to the fact that many people have nothing else to do because of the WGA strike?! 

Well Mainstreet and Prospector’s Square are teeming with film folks.  Friday the LGBT festivities kicked off the opening of the new Queer Lounge (back on Main Street).  Now housed in a three-story building right in the middle of all the action, the Queer Lounge and partners GLAAD and Absolut did a really nice job of making a comfortable, welcoming and fun place to hang out, meet and network and have a cocktail or two. See www.queerlounge.org for pix and video of all the goings on.

There are several events lined up for the Queer Lounge all week long and I am looking forward to attending as many as I can.

Another part of the Sundance experience, of course, is the parties.  There were so many parties every night it can make your head spin.  And a mere walk down the street can turn into a paparazzi’s  dream.  Such sightings included Mary Kate Olsen, Angelica Houston, Colin Farrell, Maria Bello and that is just the first couple days.

I kicked off my party going at the Queer Lounge for the PlanetOut.com Short Movie Awards. It was the perfect way to kick off the circuit.

Then I attended the Outfest Filmmaker’s party at the Heineken Lounge.  It was fun, crowded, packed and a veritable who’s who of the gay film world… the party rocked on til late serving Heineken Beer and sushi!

It was a cold, cold night so we scurried back to our condo, lit a fire and planned out the schedule of festival events to come.

Saturday morning I woke up early and high-tailed it over to the press screening of the much talked about film, Savage Grace directed by gay indie film icon Tom Kalin (Swoon) and starring Julianne Moore as Barbara Baekeland.  The film is the dramatic (and sometimes SHOCKING) story of Barbara Baekeland and her gay son Tony.  They have a very intimate relationship and she is not convinced that her son is actually gay, so through myriad of ways (including an on-going incestuous  relationship) she works to prove she is right.  Well this is all well and good until the emotional impact of said relationship is too much for young Tony to handle and he, well…I do not want to give the ending away, if you are not already familiar with this infamous story…but suffice to say, it will leave you shocked and amazed.  This film defines the term ‘thought provoking.’

I spent the remainder of the day preparing for the Queer Brunch and the madness that was about to ensue.

More later!!!

-Josh

 Well times have certainly changed. Now kids are coming out earlier and earlier and with over 3000 Gay/Straight Alliances, there is even a built-in support system. And now we are even beyond that.  Take the case of Bethany Laccone, a high schooler who was forced to turn her t-shirt inside out because it had a lesbian pride symbol on it.  Just because some uptight twat of a teacher was offended, this young girl’s right to freedom of speech was thwarted.  She was even threatened with a suspension if she did not comply. 

“When my teacher told me she wanted me to turn my t-shirt inside-out or cover it up, I was confused, because I have worn that shirt to school several times before and nobody said anything about it.  I wear that shirt because I want people to know that I am proud of being a lesbian and comfortable with being who I am,” said Bethany Laccone, the 17 year-old high school student. 

She was told that the shirt violated the dress code…what horse shit.  Teachers are there to TEACH not PREACH.  Even if it did offend her, which in my opinion who give a shit, that still does not give her the right to violate ANYONE’S First Amendment rights, especially a student.  What are they teaching these kids?! 

Luckily, our little activist lesbian did not stand for such abuse and contacted the ACLU. They immediately took up her case and WON based on the precedent setting Tinker vs Des Moines, which guarantees students the right to freedom of expression & speech and that those rights need not be shed at the gates of any academic institution. 

So the ACLU recently DEMANDED an apology for Bethany and that punitive action be taken against the school. AMEN! 

Ya know, I always hate the way people bandy about the term “hero.” To me Bethany really is a hero.  I cannot imagine a.) being out in HS, b.) wearing a t-shirt that announced it to everyone, and c.) standing up to my teachers, Vice Principal and the School Board.   Of course, NOW it seems like a no brainer–but back then? NO WAY. 

So I say Kudos to Bethany and to all those ‘kids’ out there who are brave enough and possess the inner strength to be out and proud in High School. Let’s see John Hughes make a film about that! (Did I just date myself?)

According to the article on 365gay.com, oftentimes LGBT youth do not find the same shelter opportunities as other teens because they are discriminated against by the very people they are looking to for help and protection. This is appalling. Instead, many of these young men and women turn to prostitution in order to survive.

I think it’s important, as we snuggle into the warmth and joy of this holiday season, we remember all of the LGBT teens who are not welcome in their homes because of their sexual orientation. There are many organizations who are working towards helping the younger generation of the LGBT community. Take a look into these and help in any way you can.

The National Gay and Lesbian Task Force discusses homelessness among LGBT youth in a report which can be found here. This report was compiled in a joint effort with the National Coalition for the Homeless.

Other organizations helping LGBT teens are:

The Trevor Project - the nation’s only 24/7 crisis and suicide prevention helpline for LGBT youth
GLSEN- an organization devoted to assuring the every member of our nation’s schools is valued and respected regardless of sexual orientation
OutProud - the national coalition for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender youth

Anything you are able to offer helps, whether it be time, resources or money.

-Sara